From the Periwinkle Party campaign headquarters. (Also known as Pilliard Dickle's futon.)
Well this is awkward
Pilliard Dickle has not uttered the name of a certain individual since inauguration day (and doesn't intend to until he's taken his job). In this episode, PD explores ways he can refer to his opponent without resorting to petty slurs, and while maintaining the dignity and decorum befitting the office to which he aspires.
What are Pilliard Dickle's qualifications?
"This doesn't seem so much like a campaign as a job interview. And you are my prospective employer. So I guess you'll be wanting to know some of my qualifications. Well, for one, I'm stone dead broke. And I vow to be as broke the day I leave office as the day I got elected."
Who will be the VP?
Joe Kennedy was a possibility. The campaign would certainly benefit from that Kennedy hair. (Or from hair.) Or maybe Obama. If so, "after two weeks, I resign!" Watch now to discover the final pick. It might come as a surprise!
Join me in my new bubble
You can live in perpetual crisis mode for only so long before you start browsing Amazon for cyanide. Or completely cracking and doing something like running for president in a bathrobe. But my new bubble of solace offers a respite from the insanity.
"I vow to be as broke the day I leave the Oval Office as the day I'm elected."
Pilliard Dickle's paltry pittance
How can someone run a campaign on $175 plus two Beatles glasses full of loose change? Pilliard Dickle has some creative ideas about how to capture the Oval Office without corporate donations or a Koch brothers super-pac.
A scathing letter to Congress
"I wish to inform you [insert name of corporate handler here] that I will no longer be honoring our 'arrangement,' despite the lovely summer cottage my wife and I bought with your payola. Instead, I will be making my decisions based on the best interests of my real handlers—the American people."
Is The Periwinkle Party just a bunch of words?
The answer is [spoiler alert]: Absolutely! But then, so is the Magna Carta, and Hoyle's Rules of Poker. But it's about more than words, it's about...well, just watch the episode (in which Pilliard Dickle vows to try to be as great as Idi Amin).
"I pledge when elected to put on pants."
A letter from Sheila E.
"I do like the idea of a broke cartoonist in the White House, but it would be helpful, Mr. Dickle, if you could let us know where you actually stand on the issues. Other than 'I pledge to grow hair' and 'I vow to put on pants.'"
Help get PD in the Oval Office (or on Jimmy Kimmel)
"Some people get involved by organizing resistance groups, or driving people to the polls. I decided to run for President. On a futon. In a bathrobe. It might will never get me elected, but it might give me a voice."
Let me make one thing perfectly clear.
In this episode, PD asks voters to consider going insane. Like they did two years ago. "Go insane again, America, and put a broke cartoonist in the White House—one who vows to be as broke the day he leaves office as the day he’s elected."
Does he believe his own slogan?
"Let's put America back together again. Better than it's ever been." A catchy phrase...but can we really do it?
You said you were waiting for the next big thing to come along. Well, Ringo, here ya go. This just might be it!
For my rude-sounding URL (Elect My, you know, Ass.com). But it was only a dollar!
Please stay tuned!
New episodes coming!
Pilliard Dickle, Candidate
Calvin Green, Campaign Manager
© Pilliard Dickle